A: Sleazy old law professor dudes, that's who.
Although vampires, like sleazy old law professor dudes, are known to literally suck the life out of their (sometimes) vivacious young victims, vampires do so in a totally hot manner. Vampires, unlike sleazy old law professor dudes, are attractive. They attract vivacious young victims because they are dangerous and forever young, not because they are rich and will die soon.
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