Act 2

John Boner (pronounced Boner): What ever you do do not open the curtains!!!
John Boner's Aid: Duh.
John Boner: God - ugh - i'm so fucked
JBA: No you're not [[looks over JB's head and sighs inaudibly]] You are a great man! Do you want me to light a cigarette for you? That always makes you feel better.
JB: No - i really need some of that mangosteen aloe juice. Could you order that for me? Pretty please! But DON'T LET ANYONE KNOW ITS FOR ME!!!
JBA: Sure. Do you want a cookie too?
JB: Yes!!! A cookie would be great.

~~They both sit on the floor on a huge bear skin rug in the middle of the office. John Boner's aid (who has no name) is rubbing John Boner's back ~~

JB: I have to throw Barry under the bus. I have to do it today. Oh god - he's like my only friend. WHY IS thiS HAPPENING TO ME!!!
JBA: There's nothing wrong you are just hung over.
JB: Really?
JBA: Yeah just do what you have to do. Everyone loves you. Everyone respects you.
JB: Are you sure? I mean I think that there might be something actually wrong...
JBA: No - its just the hangover talking. Seriously
JB: This doesn't even make sense. I mean he's going to cut the deficit by 4 Trillion and I'm supposed to say we don't want to do that? How is anyone even going to believe me.
JBA: Shhhhh - we can't worry about that part.
JB: Do you have a cigarette?
JBA: Right here...

~~ Both men pause, light cigarettes and start to smoke ~~
JB: I don't wnat to do this... I don't even get it. Why are we doing this?
JBA: Shhhhh its ok its going to be ok...

~~ JBA starts to pet JB's hair ~~

JB: I like the deal. I mean who cares if bazilionaires are taxed a bit more. Why do we have to care sooooo much?
JBA: It's just the way it is.
JB: It's just crazy! I mean what do they want for this country? What's the end result of these policies? Big fences, populace in slavery? People with tuberculosis coughing all over me?
JBA: Its ok John, er Representative Boner.
JB: Is it? Am I just hung over?... Barry's a nice guy. You know? He smokes reds!!! I just want everything to be nice, you know? Like just have a good country. I totally know global warming exists. This is all so fucked!

~~ Both men stare into nothing in the dark smokey office ~~

JB: Hold me.