-- a door opens to an oddly decorated dark smoke filled executive office. All the pens seem like pharmaceutical swag, but on closer inspection bear names like 'Camel' and 'Winston'. The furniture is all old wood, and there's a rainforest's worth of tropical animals adorning the walls. A blinking neon Marlboro sign hanging in the stained glass window--
john boner's aid: * cough * John, we are really getting down to the wire. *cough *
-- he waves his hand in front of his face to try to get some of the smoke away. he's a very stylishly dressed very handsome tall man - kind of like the vampire lestat when he was human. --
jb's aid: do you want me to open the window?
john boner (speaker of the house its pronounced boner - he's red eyed from his brutal hangover): yes if it will make you feel better. oh god. do you remember last night? everybody hates me, right? oh no. i think i might have told Labrador i didn't believe in this bullshit. i don't know what i believe. i think i'm dying. my skin feels like mold. do you still think i'm pretty?
-- john boner lies down on the flower and covers his face with his arms. --
john boner: nobody loves me
john boner's aid: everybody loves you mr. boner. you are just hungover. you didn't do anything wrong. everyone thinks you are hilarious. you are so funny when you drink! also that Rep Labrador - all he noticed was that you were even more hilarious than usual.
john boner: are you sure?
john boner's aid: of course i'm sure! i'm sure you behaved just perfectly
john boner: will you marry me in New York?
john boner's aid: hehehe your wife still loves you very much. i don't think going gay will help us rectify this situation.
john boner: can you get me some soup? some miso soup? but if anyone asks, say its yours?
john boner's aid: yeah i'll be right back.
john boner: no don't leave me!
john boner: just order it. i feel like i might have grabbed Nan's ass. do you think thats possible?
john boner's aid: no. you definitely didn't grab Rep Heyworth's ass.
john boner: ok. can i have a coke? and like some spaghetti too? just order it all and say its for you. order me some surprises, too. like a treat of some sort. whatever you think will make me feel better.
My god, it's like I'm right there in the room with... him. This play makes me feel an uncharacteristic & unprecedented affection for John Boner. Excepting his predicament as a white man at war with his own skin color, I had never considered him a sympathetic character.
ReplyDeletehe's a classic flawed protagonist from male literature
ReplyDelete